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03 April 2008 @ 11:54 am
what else to say?  
I think I'm going to lose my job.

Okay, so it's a thought that has crossed my mind several times in the last seven months, but it has especial potency today. I had a terrible mirgraine this morning-- I've been having them all week, but have been dragging myself to work regardless. The one I had this morning wasn't budging, though. It was a monster-- even the small light from my vanity was unbearable, and the thought of food had my mouth watering in that metalic way that has nothing to do with hunger. I called in sick.

The director called back, as I had a feeling she would. Harrassing sick staff members seems to be one of her particular pleasures. I didn't pick up the phone because I was starting to get those little pin-pricks of light in my vision, and my meds make me woozy anyway. She left a nasty message on my machine, about how I'm an "unreliable worker", and that we "need to have a talk" about how much time I've missed. (Twelve days, total-- three of which were from the Flu Stain that did the rounds in November and had several staff members out for a week). Other staff miss not only when they're sick, but when any of their children are sick. And yet I'm supposed to believe I'm the one that has missed the most, out of every body at the school? There's one lady who was out for a week because her husband had the flu.

Not to mention it's my first year working around such small children, and my immune system hasn't had time to build up against all the myriad germs that make their way in and out of the building each day.

I think she's looking for an excuse to fire me.

I'm going to the doctor later this afternoon to get a note, for all the dubious good that will do.

Oh, God. I've never ever been fired.
I hate to sound arrogant but-- I work so hard there and this is what I get?

My head is killing me.
Jesus.
-Meredith
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Emotional Temperature: worriedworried
 
 
 
Amber: er | ray and neelaminttown1 on April 3rd, 2008 04:13 pm (UTC)
You really don't need this from them, especially when you're not well.

♥ I will send good thoughts, both job-related and wellness-related. I hope you're feeling better soon.
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: pmsgarnettrees on April 3rd, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)
You really don't need this from them, especially when you're not well.
I called her back once I had a doctor's note, and told her I'd be in first thing in the morning. She said she wanted to discuss my 'unreliable tendancies' with me now. I said I'd gathered as much from her charming little message, and when she asked what that was supposed to mean, I asked her if she thought I was in any condition to discuss something when I was seeing little black dots and wearing sunglasses inside due to my light sensitivity.

And it all went down hill from there. *sigh*

There's my biggest character flaw: I have a long fuse. I'm all polietness and smiles until you get to the end of it, then I have a mouth that goes off without warning. I'm doomed.

My doctor gave me a prescription-- she said it was "the good stuff" and that it'll knock me out for about nine hours. Sounds like a lovely vacation to me. ^_~

*hugs tightly* Thank you for always being so understanding and supportive. I'm not sure how the job wellness will go, but I feel better knowing my doctor is confident in the stuff she's given me. I take it for a week, and then she's got something else for me that she thinks will help regulate my hormones (which seem to be at the root of all this nonsense). Anyway, I adore you, and your good-thoughts seem to have reached me already!
-Meredith
Ivy Loreivylore on April 3rd, 2008 04:14 pm (UTC)
What is it with migraines lately? I've had one for the past week, and you're the third person on my f-list in the past two days suffering from some type of chronic headache.

I was once fired from a job for leaving a co-worker alone during a closing shift because I had an abscessed tooth. It was the worst pain of my life. I've never forgiven that particular boss.

That all really sucks.
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: boomer2garnettrees on April 3rd, 2008 10:33 pm (UTC)
What is it with migraines lately?
My doctor blames mine on changing hormones and high stress levels... I don't know about you, but this winter has seemed to have stress in abundance. Or there could be, you know, something in the water, altering our hormones and possibly aiding alien invasion. ^_~

I'm sorry to hear you have a migraine, too. Have you tried any tricks? I usually put a warm cloth over my forehead-- sometimes one that's been soaked in soapy water from my favorite bath gel. I don't know if you get really sensitive to smell and light, like I do, but sometimes laying in the dark with a light scent really helps.

I've never forgiven that particular boss.
An abscessed tooth? I've never had one, but I've heard their unbelievably painful! X_x;; I'm starting to think there's a hidden requirement in job postings for upper management. It probably says something like, "Must be complete and uncompromising asshole."
-Meredith
Ivy Loreivylore on April 4th, 2008 01:40 am (UTC)
Or there could be, you know, something in the water, altering our hormones and possibly aiding alien invasion.

That is exactly what I was getting at! But I keep telling myself it's just a delusion brought on by watching too much SG1.

I suffer from chronic atypical migraines and usually take a very mild medication to prevent them, but this is usually the time of year they peak, so it's just not as effective. If I take lots of ibuprofen, I can keep a full blown migraine at bay, but I hate doing it.
Purpleyin/Hans: punkmissyvortexdv on April 3rd, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)
That is definitely unreasonable of them, and it sound rather like she's looking for excuses. I hope you feel better soon, though I suppose ironically the need to go to the doctors for the note won't help it much and even prolong it. *hugs*
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: zoegarnettrees on April 3rd, 2008 10:36 pm (UTC)
That is definitely unreasonable of them, and it sound rather like she's looking for excuses.
I definitely think she is. She doesn't like anyone standing up to her and, when I called her on the phone to let her know I had a doctor's note, she started winding me up. I tried not to let her get to me, but I *know* I got a little snippy towards the end. She'll probably cite my "attitude problem" as a reason for firing me.

If I don't quit first. I have my two weeks notice typed up and folded in my purse. All it needs is a date. X_x;;;

The doctor's was okay-- not great, but not as bad as it could have been. Thank you so much for your concern and kind words!
*hugs back*
-Meredith
Insufferable Know-It-All: [to] michael hates tobyladyaeryn on April 3rd, 2008 04:25 pm (UTC)
Eeek, that sounds like a mess. *hugs*

One of the reasons my former employer (the library) cited for firing me was "excessive sighing." *eyeroll* Then they tried to deny me unemployment on the basis I was a consistently unreliable worker when I had several years of signed evaluations to the contrary (my lawyer PWNED their ass on that in my hearing). Some employers are just full of shit.

Edited at 2008-04-03 04:30 pm (UTC)
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: badgirlsgarnettrees on April 3rd, 2008 10:40 pm (UTC)
One of the reasons my former employer (the library) cited for firing me was "excessive sighing."
*blinks* Is that even legal? If I were an employer, I'd try a little harder to come up *something* that sounded even half-way legit. No wonder your lawyer ate them for breakfast! Go, Aeryn!

Some employers are just full of shit.
Indeed they are. I've worked at Lichfield for seven months and never *once* been evaluated, or seen a performance review. Though I'm sure Boss Lady can type up something negative as an excuse.

Your icon's expression looks so much like mine right now. *hugs*
-Meredith
Insufferable Know-It-All: [sw] capslock!aniladyaeryn on April 4th, 2008 02:51 am (UTC)
If I were an employer, I'd try a little harder to come up *something* that sounded even half-way legit.

They also trumped up some crap about being "lazy" because I hadn't found anything on a missing materials list that NO ONE else in the library (except my supervisor, interestingly) had been able to find anything on. The unemployment hearing was over the phone, and you could hear the "THIS is all you guys had on her?" in the judge's voice, especially when my bosses got caught lying about my record. They clearly didn't expect me to actually contest the ruling, which was insulting in itself.

I've worked at Lichfield for seven months and never *once* been evaluated, or seen a performance review.

How often are they supposed to evaluate you? Every job I've had the evaluations were only once a year.

Whatever happens, **hugs and chocolate** You'll kick butt.
Silke: nicknorajimaine42 on April 3rd, 2008 05:11 pm (UTC)
first of all a HUG for you - don't care about the germs, in fact, I'd love a bunch of them right now as it would give me an excuse to avoid work.

It's really sad to hear how bad a turn this job of yours has taken. After all, you're in it for the kids and the adults ruin it all by playing their stupid, twisted power-games that give them a rush but leave you wrecked and the kids in tears. Because, well, most of them can sense something is wrong.

When my previous job - The Firm, the lawyers - ended it was because they fired me. They'd been keeping me down with letters of reprimand for some time (reprimands for offenses that were entirely subjective and unfounded) and needed an excuse to get rid of me. In the end, I was glad they did. It gave me the opportunity to look for something new in earnest. However, this new job is not perfect, either, as you may have gathered from a few non-German entries...:-( For three months, I slugged it out - totally unfamiliar territory, virtually no help or answers to my questions - alone and then with a girl from a temp-agency, then I got a colleague in January, 20 years my senior, tough, witty, the kind of Lesbian I would like to be, *g* and things looked brighter for a while. We made plans, started projects...I was looking forward to really *achieving* something with her there... But now (she didn't believe me first when I confided in her and told her how bad, childish and unreasonable one of the CEOs could get) she had a few rows with him, the last being a rather spectacular shouting match on the phone...and the next day she was sick. Has been for the past two weeks and a renewal sick-note till the 17th. Joy. My stomach is already digesting itself, I'm a walking knot of muscles, and the mere thought of *training* somebody aside from the daily work is killing me.

I looked at my contract today and at the time I have to give notice. Right. Will write applications this weekend.

All in all, you shouldn't be too worried about that meeting. Is is specified somewhere in your contract how many sick days you can take (it's one thing that differs widely from the system here, you don't need sick days here. You just get sick, period, you hand in your note from the doctor's and that's it. If you get fired because of that, you can take it to court and sue your employer) And if they object to your being an "unreliable worker", all they can do is give you slap on the wrist and a letter of reprimand. However, such things open doors for them. They may seek another opportunity to blame you for just the same thing and that could become a reason for termination. Which, of course, you could contest legally (if you still have the energy - most people don't, not if they had to suffer for months).

Best thing would be to find something else, hard as it might be and even if it is a step back financially for the moment. For you are suffering there, dear. And if it wasn't you, they'd be doing it to somebody else. It's not personal.
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: brokenheartsgarnettrees on April 3rd, 2008 10:53 pm (UTC)
*hugs back, tightly* You may have all the germs you please, my dear. In fact, I can take a germ trap to work and ship you some. ^_~ The number of parents who bring their kids to school obviously sick is ridiculous...

After all, you're in it for the kids and the adults ruin it all
That's what I always tell people-- I love my kids. I really do, even when they're jumping on their cots and won't go down for nap, even when they're at their worst and look right through me when I'm fussing at them. Because, when I look at just my time with the kids, the good moments so obviously outweigh the bad. But when you bring the adults in... my skin actually crawls when I look at the building and think about going in there to face Boss Lady and Puji and Fatima.

They'd been keeping me down with letters of reprimand for some time (reprimands for offenses that were entirely subjective and unfounded) and needed an excuse to get rid of me. In the end, I was glad they did.
I remember you talking about that-- in fact, I thought of you the first time the director and I got into it. She's not one who will ever admit to being caught in a lie (though she was), and her way of 'fixing' the issue was to blame me for her mistakes. I knew, looking at her then, that her pride would see me out the door. That she calls me unreliable now (she once, back in January, praised me for always being so punctual) makes me unbelievably angry, for the reasons you stated above: subjective and unfounded.

For three months, I slugged it out - totally unfamiliar territory, virtually no help or answers to my questions
That's part of the reason I've stuck it out so long at Lichfield. I have a routine. It's painful and unpleasant, but part of me just doesn't want to have to go through the process of getting acquainted with a place and its proceedures, ect.

My stomach is already digesting itself, I'm a walking knot of muscles, and the mere thought of *training* somebody aside from the daily work is killing me.
It's amazing how that stress worms its way into every part of your life, isn't it? God, I'm so sorry, Jimaine. *hugs tight*

I hope your friend comes back, and that her presence helps improve things. Better yet, I hope you find a job opportunity that can really make you happy.

Thank you for being such a good listener, and pointing out all my options. I made several phone calls to agencies and schools today, not to mention several emails. And, hey-- worst to worst, Federated is hiring. ^_~;;
-Meredith
Miyeko: Garfield Hugsmiyeko on April 3rd, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well and that the director is being a royal ass. Having survived being fired though, I'm telling you that you can survive it, and sometimes the job you get next is even better than the shit you left behind. Good luck and feel better!
confidentiality spice: Anti Cally/Chiefdanniisupernova on April 4th, 2008 01:29 am (UTC)
>:(

*doesn't like when people pick on Meredith*

Here's a funny icon to cheer you up.