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11 November 2006 @ 09:22 pm
[Fic] The Red Truck Affair 3/? (SV/DC crossover; Clex, T/K)  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Been a little while, hasn't it? *sheepish* I really don't have much to say, save that I hope you enjoy this chapter, and that things are still funny and/or interesting. ^_^

Thanks to vespa331 for the chapter title. *grin*

Feedback makes me a happy, happy girl. Thanks for taking the time to read, and enjoy!

The Red Truck Affair:
A Disturbing Smallville/DC Mish-Mash (3/?)
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory


CHAPTER THREE: In Which Kon Absconds With Batman's Sidekick

Bart Allen-- better known as Impulse, the very boy who'd once read the entire contents of both the San Francisco and Central City Public Libraries _in the same day_-- had once asked Kon if he had any memories of consciousness during the actual cloning process. Wally's next door neighbor was pregnant and had recently begun to show, which sparked Bart's interests in anything regarding human development and pregnancy, particularly unusual ones. There were few people on the planet who had birth-origins more unusual than Kon's. Bart had rushed into the common room at the Tower with a stack of textbooks almost as tall as his own willowy frame, and began plying Kon with questions so fast that the words began to run together. Kon still had nightmares in which Bart chased him around the planet, shouting about 'womb-memories', 'emotional versus intellectual maturity' and 'love deprivation experiments'. The hybrid teenager tried to be understanding about the whole thing-- after all, Bart *had* been raised in a virtual reality simulation for the majority of his life, and that was a very good excuse for not having the best people skills. Kon himself, while he tried to watch and take his cue from others, was aware he could socially be like a bull in a china shop at times. That sort of thing happened when you were poured out of a tube looking fifteen, and spent the first months of your life living off your fame and bumming around in Hawaii.

So Kon totally understood that Bart was just curious, and that a lot of his questions had less to do with Kon's origins and more to do with the fact his own parents had sent him through the time-space continuum to be raised by-- of all people-- Wally West. Still, he was more than a little relieved (and oddly flattered) when Tim stomped into the room, discovered Bart's chosen topic of conversation, and preceded to rip the speedy young man a new one. Tim had gone on about team solidarity and respecting other's boundaries-- not to mention minding one's own business-- until Bart had sped off for Mexico to pout and eat an inordinate amount of tacos. He reappeared at the Tower the next morning, looking sheepish and carrying a small, buxom doll whose hips wiggled like a metronome when you but her on your dashboard. He gave the doll to Kon, and the two played Final Super Death Tournament XXI on Cyborg's X-Box. Within an hour everything was okay again.

But Kon still thought about it, sometimes. He'd lay in bed, and Bart's questions would come back to him, piling on top of one another until they seemed to reach the ceiling. Wide awake under the quilt Aunt Martha made for him, Kon would close his eyes and try hard, really hard, to see what he could remember. He thought he remembered being small enough to be held in two large hands, and being lowered into a liquid that at first seemed cold but then became the whole world. Sometimes, he had dreams filled by a gray-blue color, and he thought he heard someone's voice off in the distance, talking to him. There was never anything concrete, only a feeling of being expected, anticipated. Mostly, however, Kon was unable to think of Cadmus Labs without thinking of the person who'd contributed the other half of his DNA, so he kept the whole thing locked firmly in the back of his mind. Otherwise, he'd think about it all the time, and he really didn't want Tim to have to come and visit him in Arkham. That would just be embarrassing, all around.

Now, Kon ran, so fast everything else slowed to a crawl-- the storm he passed through, the river he sped along. Though the upper part of his face was covered by the mask, Robin wisely kept his head buried against Kon's shoulder. Kon listened carefully for the sonic boom that would signify Clark coming after him-- when a few minutes passed without one, he simply stopped. He'd had no destination in mind, only a desire to flee. He found himself standing in a large field comprised of browning yellow grass. There was a road some ways away, and a sparse wood on the other edge of the field. He started to ask Robin where he thought they were, but quickly swallowed the words. It took him a few moments to realize that he was holding his friend the same way a child would a large blanket or overstuffed teddy bear. 'Coolness factor' completely dented, he quickly set Robin down.
"Sorry," he said, scratching the back of his head.
"Not a problem." Robin looked at him, cape and tunic perfectly unmussed, and didn't seem at all put out. "This way, I don't have to come looking for you. Also, if you'd dragged me here on the other end of a grapple, *then* I would have been pissed."
"You were going to grapple me?" Kon raised an eyebrow.
Robin shrugged, "If I had to." He wandered off towards the edge of the woods, Kon trailing behind him. Using a fallen tree as a bench, they sat together in companionable silence for several minutes.

"I really hate this," Kon said at last. "Like, everytime I think I've finally got a handle on all the utter *weirdness* that is my life, bam!" He smacked his fist against his hand, "Something comes right out of left field and it's all 'oh, no, Kon's an even bigger freak than before'."
"Kon," said Robin patiently, "you are not a freak."
"Oh yes I am!" Kon nodded vigorously. "I practically *lived* off that fact 'til Superman found me. I'm a big, unending freak, and my tongue is shaped funny."
With a sigh, Robin removed a small spray can from his utility belt and applied it to his mask-- the armored disguise came off easily, leaving Tim's face blinking up at Kon. "You tongue is shaped funny?" Tim asked, giving Kon the same look he had when the other boy had shown up in Gotham, flying around with a metal box on his head.
"It's kind of pointy," Kon stuck it out to illustrate, "I was looking in the mirror one day and I realized it didn't look right."
Tim paused. "I think you have too much free time in Smallville."
"... prob'ly."

"You're not a freak, Kon," Tim said again, after a moment. He held up a hand to forestall his friend's next words. "You're also not a clone." The shorter boy frowned, almost talking to himself, "I really hate it when people call you that-- a clone is a genetic copy. You're no one's copy, your DNA is unique. It's just as if any two guys who weren't Lex Luthor and Clark Kent decided they wanted to have a baby and..." Tim looked up at Kon swiftly. "...and..."
"Oh, *shit*," Kon swore fervently. "This is so weird! It's like I'm in the Twilight Zone! Any minute now, Rod Serling and his creepy eyebrows are gonna pop out from behind one of those trees to start going on about how I'm going on a journey not only of sight and sound, but of mind!" He buried his head in his hands, "Luthor knows who Clark is. Has for a long time..." Kon looked at Tim pleadingly, "This sounds crazy, but what if... what if..."
"He did it on purpose?" Tim asked quietly. "Combined his DNA with Clark's, not going for a clone or a stabilized half-Kryptonian, but a... child... that was..."
"I can't handle this," Kon announced decisively, hysteria creeping into his voice. "It was weird enough to think of them as my donors, but if I have to think of them as my *parents*..." Both young men descended into a somewhat horrified silence.

"Batman and Nightwing are sleeping together," Tim announced suddenly.
Kon started, feeling as if he'd just walked off a cartoon cliff. "What?"
"I said--"
"I heard what you said, Tim!" Kon waved his arms. He seemed to be doing that a lot today. "What the hell!?"
"I was trying to make you feel better," Tim confessed. "You know, not so weird about parents, and stuff."
"How is thinking of Batman and Nightwing..." Kon grimaced, "doing *that* in any way comforting? How is that helpful in any way, shape, or form?"
"My mentor and surrogate brother have been doing it right under my nose for, like, ever. I was just trying to say, you know, that a weird family-life kind of comes with the superhero territory." Tim touched Kon's hand, "Sorry. I really didn't think that through."
"Tim," Kon scoffed, "you think *everything* through. Like, a million times."
Tim crossed his arms over his chest, "It sounded good in my head."

Though he considered Tim his best friend, Kon-El regarded the other boy's brain in the same ginger, half-awed manner he used with nuclear devices, ancient mystical artifacts, and alien technology. Tim's brain was-- as Bart once put it-- "a really freaky thing"; you didn't get to be Batman's partner by being just another pretty face, after all. Now, Kon squashed the involuntary urge to scoot away, just a little. Tim licked his lips, the tiniest flash of white showing as he bit his lower lip. To the hybrid teen, who spent more time watching Tim than he'd readily admit, this was a sure sign of Plotting. Unlike almost everyone else Kon knew, Robin didn't think-- he Pondered, he Calculated, and he occasionally Plotted, but the processes of his cool intellect seemed miles away from mere 'thinking'. The first Robin had been hailed as charming, empathetic, talented, and practically immune to gravity, but Tim was a different sort of Boy Wonder. No less talented, Kon was sure, even if the areas differed slightly. It was just that Kon had seen Tim work along side Batman for over twelve hours, with neither of them exchanging a word in any way unrelated to the Mission. How Tim managed to walk around as a passably normal civilian was a total mystery to Kon, though he'd seen the other boy do it. It occured to him that, in another life, Tim would have made a very good Evil Mad Scientist-- a thought he quickly locked away, for fear of damaging his own brain even further.
"I have an idea," Tim said, having apparently examined every angle, possible outcome, and variable involved in whatever plan he was formulating. "It's a little... less-than-kosher, though." Kon raised his eyebrows. Tim was a Good Guy, which did not necessarily preclude occasionally breaking the rules, or doing something their more adult mentors would call 'stupid'. Tim just usually refrained from doing these things unless he was reasonably sure he wouldn't get caught, or would at least emerge with his dignity intact.
"I'm game," Kon replied. "I want to know what's going on. I'm never gonna get a straight answer from Clark."
"At least he *responds* when you ask a question," the other boy joked. "If Batman doesn't want to tell you something, it's pretty much all--"
"Grr-stoney-silence-creature-of-the-night?" Kon offered.
"Yeah." Tim chuckled, running a hand through his blue black hair. "Let's find a road sign or something. Once we know where we are, you can take me back to Gotham, and we can start a little investigation of our own."

The two boys walked along the simple, two-lane road for a few minutes, neither in enough of a hurry to use superpowers or gadgetry. For a while, Kon watched Tim's face, but could divine nothing from it. As this wasn't unusual, he didn't allow himself to worry-- he just appreciated being in the presence of someone who wouldn't get uncomfortable or totally freaked out at the oddest moments. He liked the Kents, and Clark was his... well, his *something*... but there were times when Kon still very much felt like an outsider.
"Kon," Tim said, tugging a little on the taller boy's sleeve. "Kon."
Tim pointed to the road sign they had walked up to while Kon was lost in his thoughts. Kon looked at the sign-- he looked a moment longer, and then turned his head to the side, as if that would make the foreign words on the sign suddenly fall together and make sense.
"It's French," Kon said. "Dudes, I did not run to France. There's an ocean-- I totally would have noticed an ocean." Tim's silence held an unusual note to it, and Kon turned, only to find that the boy was chuckling silently.
"Oh, Kon," Tim said, gasping for air, "you took us to *Quebec*!"
"Ah," said Kon.
"Why," Tim laughed a little harder, "Quebec? Of all places! There's San Francisco, and Florida, and New York, and the Tower.... Quebec, Kon?"
"Hey, leave me alone!" Kon said, crossing his arms, "I was distraught." Playfully annoyed, he picked his friend up easily. "You're never going to let me live this down, are you?"
"Well," Kon grinned mischievously, shifting Tim so that he was holding the other boy in what Cassie called the 'princess carry'. "Let go, *honey*."

As they were moving at terrific speeds, Tim merely leaned up a little and whispered, "I'll get you for that one, Superboy."

Spt. I'm a total feedback whore. Just don't tell my mom. ^_~

Disclaimer: I mean no disrepect or ill-will towards Quebec, or any other Canadian Province. I'm sure it's a lovely country. Kon's just a doof. ^_~;;
Emotional Temperature: anxiousanxious
The Band Plays:: "Rock The Casbah"-- by The Solar Twins
macadamanaity on November 12th, 2006 01:33 am (UTC)
Ahahahahaha! Quebec!

hyperactivator on November 12th, 2006 02:42 am (UTC)
Another morsel? *goobles* Yummy so full of good interactions and Kon thoughts.
(no subject) - garnettrees on November 16th, 2006 03:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - garnettrees on November 16th, 2006 03:53 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Lady Dayladydey on November 12th, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
Cool another part!

Poor Kon - I think that he has a lot more freaking out coming. I'm glad that Tim pointed out that in at least a small way Kon was wanted, not a mistake and that Clark and Lex are his "parents", not just donors. So that while yes this is mind blowing, I think this will go a ways towards helping.

Tim's brain was-- as Bart once put it-- "a really freaky thing"; ... It occured to him that, in another life, Tim would have made a very good Evil Mad Scientist--

Well, it is said that you fall in love with someone who is just like your father. I bet Tim is very similar to Lex in that regard - not that anyone would be so bold as to say it. HA!

I look forward to reading the next part - besides Lex and Clark need to reconcile...
Rachel 2: Tim/Robinvespa331 on November 16th, 2006 12:28 am (UTC)
Wow, that's a very good - and very disturbing - point about Tim/Kon :D
(no subject) - garnettrees on November 16th, 2006 03:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Kiki: Supermanlapetite_kiki on November 12th, 2006 03:41 am (UTC)
Great part!

Though I have to ask, why Quebec is a bad place to be…?
Rachel 2: Konvespa331 on November 16th, 2006 12:32 am (UTC)
I don't think it's meant to be a bad place so much as a ridiculous place. Why would 2 slightly rogue superteens go to Quebec? Why would Kon go to Quebec on autopilot at all? It's silly!

Course this isn't my fic so I could be wrong, that's just how I read it.
(no subject) - garnettrees on November 16th, 2006 03:57 pm (UTC) (Expand)
arianstarrarianstarr on November 12th, 2006 04:36 am (UTC)
Yay for an update! I was starting to think you had forgotten about this story. :P
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: kaylee_inaragarnettrees on November 16th, 2006 03:59 pm (UTC)
I hadn't forgotten, I just have a notoriously short attention span. Or rather, my muse does, which doesn't reflect well on me, either way. *wink* I hope it was worth the wait!
(no subject) - arianstarr on November 16th, 2006 10:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
rosy5000: supermenrosy5000 on November 12th, 2006 06:25 am (UTC)
I absolutely love this story! Poor Kon. Hope he gets some answers soon.
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: dcgirlsgarnettrees on November 16th, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC)
*Darth Vader Voice* All will be revealed in time */end voice*

Opps. Wrong fandom. ^^;; I'm glad you liked the story, though!
lastscorpion on November 12th, 2006 07:51 am (UTC)
Quebec! LOL!

My favorite line was Kon started, feeling as if he'd just walked off a cartoon cliff. "What?"

I really enjoyed reading this!
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: magicgarnettrees on November 16th, 2006 04:01 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you still find it funny, Scorpion! I was worried about the quality, since this chapter took such a long time.
Drooling Fan Girldroolfangrrl on November 12th, 2006 09:21 am (UTC)
keep going please.

I have a special place in my heart for fic that take DC canon and SV canon, smoosh them together, and then sort out a story from the resulting messy goo.

Thanks for sharing.
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: notafraidgarnettrees on November 16th, 2006 04:03 pm (UTC)
It is a messy goo, isn't it? ^_~ Hopefully, mine makes as much sense as is possible in this humorous situation.

Thank YOU for the feedback!
(no subject) - droolfangrrl on November 16th, 2006 04:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Clareblisstasteful on November 12th, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you continued this! I have such a soft spot for tim/kon, seriously I love them together! And this is just so amusing.
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: love1garnettrees on November 16th, 2006 04:04 pm (UTC)
I can't tell you how relieved I am to hear that this story is still funny! Thank you so much.

Tim/Kon has such a wonderful dynamic, doesn't it? I just want to squish them to death. ^_^
jakrarjakrar on November 12th, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC)
I am enjoying this story more with every section you post; you do a great job with all the characters. And I can hardly wait until Lex shows up and we get to see him interact with Kon and Clark.
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: ayugarnettrees on November 16th, 2006 04:05 pm (UTC)
*blushes* Thank you so much for your kind words. If you're waiting for Lex, Chapter Four should have some goods for you. I love thinking about SV!Lex in this situation.
(Deleted comment)
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: badgirlsgarnettrees on November 16th, 2006 04:07 pm (UTC)
*puts Ilyena's head back on* Careful, or I'll need to put a surgeon general's warning on this fic! ^+~

Seriously, I'm so glad you're still interested in the story, and that you enjoyed this chapter. Tim/Kon is definitely THE Teen Titans OTP.

Not to sound out of it, but what's monitor_duty?
Bagheera: Teeny Tinybagheera_san on November 13th, 2006 10:57 pm (UTC)
Wooo, a new chapter!
I loved the Bart stuff, and the dialogue (very good character voices!) and, well, everything else, too :D *eagerly waiting for next chapter*
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: kissmegarnettrees on November 16th, 2006 04:09 pm (UTC)
First off, you have the best icon EVER. 'Yay, clone!' is right-- it would totally take Clark and Lex killing each other for them to get past all their issues. Silly boys.

I have all this empathy for Bart, 'cause he's a spaz. And so am I. ^^;

Thank you so much for the kind feedback!
Rachel 2: Tim > Batmanvespa331 on November 16th, 2006 12:48 am (UTC)
Love! Oh lordy, so much love. I was so ridiculously excited when I saw you'd updated this, it's one of the few WIPs I kept checking back on hopefully. This is one of those situations where I would quote all my favorite bits, except that'd pretty much be the whole fic. :) Bart was Perfect (i miss him so much!), Tim being glad Kon stole him so he didn't have to grapple him was swoonworthy, I laughed hysterically at the Batman/Nightwing WTFness, the musings on Tim's brain were a thing of beauty, and I squealed like mad at all the little pre-slash bits peppered throughout.

I died in the good way when I saw I'd accidently given you the chapter title :D It's ironic really, because damned if I can think of titles when the writers I beta for ask for them :P I'm very proud of my inadvertant contribution to the continuation of this most fabulous fic.

Possible typos: "and preceded to rip the speedy young man a new one" Methinks that's meant to be "proceeded"? Also, at the very end, is "Let go" supposed to be "Let's go"?

Also, I'm so very happy to realize this is the first time my Tim > Batman icon fits a fic perfectly :D

Write more, mooooooooore! ::teleports a cheerleading team next to your computer for constant, bouncy encouragement::
Rachel 2: Impulse 1millionvespa331 on November 16th, 2006 12:55 am (UTC)
Wow, part 2 was so long ago I'd fogotten I used that icon for that one too! So uh, I guess my next to last comment was redundant :D Silly me.
(no subject) - garnettrees on November 16th, 2006 04:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
annakasannakas on February 15th, 2007 01:41 am (UTC)
Today I vaguely remembered reading sometime in the summer a Clex +Connor fic with a red truck and after an half hour search found it again.

Yayyy and discovered and new part. Loved it. The huor is so good.

Heee Kon is freaking out. Though I can understand why. Bart was hilarious with his questions. And Tim rocks. Reminded me of Lex. Loved how he blurted out the Bruce/Dick thing. That was a complete and utter WTF!?!?! moment *snicker*

I hope to see more of this fic some day.

full frontal nerdity: CANON.simplybeing on March 6th, 2007 02:46 am (UTC)
A friend of mine pointed me in the direction of this story, because she knows of my OBSESSIVE LOVE for all things Kon (and Clex), and I just wanted to say that it is absolutely AWESOME. I loved it.

*crosses fingers there'll be more someday*
Enderenderwiggin24 on March 10th, 2007 08:40 pm (UTC)
I like simplybeing, found this via a rec, and I would love to see more of this universe as well!
I hope, one day, your muses will return to you.
Pet: Supermanapetslife on March 29th, 2007 12:20 am (UTC)
This is SO delightful! I love the interplay between all of them, Bruce and Clark, Tim and Kon, and oh, the senior Kents...and Lex in the background, probably laughing his fool head off at them all.

This is wonderful, wonderful. I know it can be annoying to have people pestering you for a new part of a long-abandoned story, but if you ever decide to pick this one up again, you'll have made me a very happy fangirl! *grin*