Meredith Bronwen Mallory (garnettrees) wrote,
Meredith Bronwen Mallory
garnettrees

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"Major Winters' March" (yet another bob filk)

I don't know what it is about Band of Brothers that makes my muse want to write filks. It's just one of those mysteries of the universe, I guess. (Or at least, a mystery of the frightful inner workings of my brain. ^^;) At any rate, I always get an itch to watch BOB around Christmas time-- probably because I spent so much time watching it back when we did the original Berlin By Christmas project at camp_toccoa. I also happened to overhear my nieces watching the original animated Jungle Book, whose soundtrack includes a song called Colonel Hathi's March.

And so, this mutant bunny was born. It's probably not as good as my other two filks but, nevertheless, I am compelled to post. ^^;;


MAJOR WINTERS' MARCH
a bob filk
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory


[SCENE: Int. An old but well-kept dance hall. The boys of EASY COMPANY are assembled on stage-- all accept LUZ, who seems to think he belongs in the orchestra pit. A long-suffering WINTERS motions for him to get up on stage, which he does reluctantly. After a few aborted attempts at coordinating, GUARNERE and TOYE use the riggings to provide a backdrop of CAMP TOCCOA.]

[LIPTON comes to the front of the stage and signals for music.]


EASY: (Lipton leading)
Oh, to Toccoa Camp we came,
'cause life won't be the same.
The war did start,
and we'll do our part
(hup, two, three, four)

LUZ:
Though Soble is insane!

WINTERS: (correcting)
And we'll jump out of our planes.

[LUZ and PERCONTE snicker unrepentantly.]

EASY:
Oh we we trained on Curahee,
though it hurt our backs and knees.
We ran up and down,
on uneven ground.
(hup, two, three, four)

LUZ:
And ate ketchup spaghetti!

WINTERS: (long-suffering)
And we'll follow where they lead.

EASY: (LIPTON is still leading, but LUZ has pushed his way to the front and his making 'conducting' gestures next to him)
Oh we're a real close bunch,
after sharing board and bunk.
We trained day and night,
for this fearsome fight.
(hup, two, three, four)

NIXON: (with zeal)
And I don't mind getting drunk!

EASY: (sans Winters)
Nix does not mind getting drunk!

WINTERS: (speaking)
I just can't win.

[GUARNERE and TOYE lower a second backdrop-- this time of a scarred French landscape.]

EASY:
Oh, we did fight in Normandy,
a day of days, indeed.
You could hear us breach,
On that night time beach;
(hup, two, three, four)
we were there in time of need.

[WINTERS looks surprised that no one is sassing, lowering his guard. He is quickly ambushed when NIX comes up and throws an arm around him.]

NIXON:
You know Dick's my favorite guy,
And I don't mind saying why;
he's my steady beau,
in both rain and snow
(hup, two, three, four)
though he's really kind of shy!

GUARNERE: (enjoying himself)
And you know Quakers don't lie!

[WINTERS' face turns about the same color as his hair. HARRY WELSH and LIPTON take it upon themselves to get the song back on track.]

WELSH & LIPTON: (welsh singing very off-key)
Oh, we struggled in Bastogne,
HQ would not throw us a bone--

EASY: (joining in)
Little food, few guns,
Yet we stood as one,
(hup, two, three, four)

LUZ:
At night, we never slept alone!

WINTERS: (still trying to combat NIX's wandering hands)
We slept and dreamt of home!

NIX: (speaking)
No, not really. (leers)

GUARNERE, TOYE, MARTIN and RANDELMAN:
Oh, Sobel was a jerk,
Lieutenant Dike, a piece of work.
To increase in rank,
[pointing towards their heads]
you need an empty bank.
(hup, two, three, four!)
And their duties they did shirk!

[Most of EASY finds this very amusing, until someone off stage clears their throat. It is RONALD SPEIRS, looming in a threatening manner from the shadows.]

LIPTON: (alarmed, smiling nervously)
Uh, they didn't mean you, sir.

[SPEIRS looks only marginally mollified, caressing his gun. There is a long, uncomfortable pause.]

LUZ, PERCONTE, SKIP and MALARKEY: (recovering some of their enthusiasm)
"Have you got a penny"?
Oh, we had some times, yessiree!
Formed more-than-brotherly bonds,
Between dusk and dawn--

NIX: (smirking)
And I'll propose on bended knee!

[WINTERS appears torn between gazing tenderly at NIX and wanting to repeatedly bang his forehead on something heavy.]

EASY COMPANY: (with a triumphant bow)
Happily ever after in New Jersey!

[The house lights go down. There iss muffled laughter in the darkness.]

BABE'S VOICE:
Major Winters? We all chipped in and bought you a can opener.

*THUD*


THE (merciful) END



I am still, so very clearly, in need of medical help. ^^;
-Meredith
Tags: band-of-brothers, filk, silly-things, slash
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