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09 December 2009 @ 07:49 pm
"Major Winters' March" (yet another bob filk)  
I don't know what it is about Band of Brothers that makes my muse want to write filks. It's just one of those mysteries of the universe, I guess. (Or at least, a mystery of the frightful inner workings of my brain. ^^;) At any rate, I always get an itch to watch BOB around Christmas time-- probably because I spent so much time watching it back when we did the original Berlin By Christmas project at camp_toccoa. I also happened to overhear my nieces watching the original animated Jungle Book, whose soundtrack includes a song called Colonel Hathi's March.

And so, this mutant bunny was born. It's probably not as good as my other two filks but, nevertheless, I am compelled to post. ^^;;

a bob filk
by Meredith Bronwen Mallory

[SCENE: Int. An old but well-kept dance hall. The boys of EASY COMPANY are assembled on stage-- all accept LUZ, who seems to think he belongs in the orchestra pit. A long-suffering WINTERS motions for him to get up on stage, which he does reluctantly. After a few aborted attempts at coordinating, GUARNERE and TOYE use the riggings to provide a backdrop of CAMP TOCCOA.]

[LIPTON comes to the front of the stage and signals for music.]

EASY: (Lipton leading)
Oh, to Toccoa Camp we came,
'cause life won't be the same.
The war did start,
and we'll do our part
(hup, two, three, four)

Though Soble is insane!

WINTERS: (correcting)
And we'll jump out of our planes.

[LUZ and PERCONTE snicker unrepentantly.]

Oh we we trained on Curahee,
though it hurt our backs and knees.
We ran up and down,
on uneven ground.
(hup, two, three, four)

And ate ketchup spaghetti!

WINTERS: (long-suffering)
And we'll follow where they lead.

EASY: (LIPTON is still leading, but LUZ has pushed his way to the front and his making 'conducting' gestures next to him)
Oh we're a real close bunch,
after sharing board and bunk.
We trained day and night,
for this fearsome fight.
(hup, two, three, four)

NIXON: (with zeal)
And I don't mind getting drunk!

EASY: (sans Winters)
Nix does not mind getting drunk!

WINTERS: (speaking)
I just can't win.

[GUARNERE and TOYE lower a second backdrop-- this time of a scarred French landscape.]

Oh, we did fight in Normandy,
a day of days, indeed.
You could hear us breach,
On that night time beach;
(hup, two, three, four)
we were there in time of need.

[WINTERS looks surprised that no one is sassing, lowering his guard. He is quickly ambushed when NIX comes up and throws an arm around him.]

You know Dick's my favorite guy,
And I don't mind saying why;
he's my steady beau,
in both rain and snow
(hup, two, three, four)
though he's really kind of shy!

GUARNERE: (enjoying himself)
And you know Quakers don't lie!

[WINTERS' face turns about the same color as his hair. HARRY WELSH and LIPTON take it upon themselves to get the song back on track.]

WELSH & LIPTON: (welsh singing very off-key)
Oh, we struggled in Bastogne,
HQ would not throw us a bone--

EASY: (joining in)
Little food, few guns,
Yet we stood as one,
(hup, two, three, four)

At night, we never slept alone!

WINTERS: (still trying to combat NIX's wandering hands)
We slept and dreamt of home!

NIX: (speaking)
No, not really. (leers)

Oh, Sobel was a jerk,
Lieutenant Dike, a piece of work.
To increase in rank,
[pointing towards their heads]
you need an empty bank.
(hup, two, three, four!)
And their duties they did shirk!

[Most of EASY finds this very amusing, until someone off stage clears their throat. It is RONALD SPEIRS, looming in a threatening manner from the shadows.]

LIPTON: (alarmed, smiling nervously)
Uh, they didn't mean you, sir.

[SPEIRS looks only marginally mollified, caressing his gun. There is a long, uncomfortable pause.]

LUZ, PERCONTE, SKIP and MALARKEY: (recovering some of their enthusiasm)
"Have you got a penny"?
Oh, we had some times, yessiree!
Formed more-than-brotherly bonds,
Between dusk and dawn--

NIX: (smirking)
And I'll propose on bended knee!

[WINTERS appears torn between gazing tenderly at NIX and wanting to repeatedly bang his forehead on something heavy.]

EASY COMPANY: (with a triumphant bow)
Happily ever after in New Jersey!

[The house lights go down. There iss muffled laughter in the darkness.]

Major Winters? We all chipped in and bought you a can opener.


THE (merciful) END

I am still, so very clearly, in need of medical help. ^^;
Emotional Temperature: weirdweird
The Band Plays:: "Colonel Hathi's March"-- Jungle Book OST
Amberminttown1 on December 10th, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)
Can opener for the kitty food! I was smiling so much by the end of this. :)
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: dcgirlsgarnettrees on December 25th, 2009 03:32 am (UTC)
They will have many cats in Happily-Ever-After New Jersey Land! Thank you so much for commenting-- I'm glad to have you smile.
gamesiplaygamesiplay on December 11th, 2009 01:59 am (UTC)
Meredith, you are my favorite person on the Internet this week. This is hilarious. And I remember the original song!
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: marinegirlgarnettrees on December 25th, 2009 03:31 am (UTC)
*hugs* And you are my favorite person, too! I've been following your MASH fic-- I have a whole long email for you, but I probably won't be finished with it until after Christmas. *blows kisses*
gamesiplaygamesiplay on December 27th, 2009 07:41 am (UTC)
Yay! I hope you guys had a merry Christmas. :)
Amberminttown1 on December 20th, 2009 04:20 pm (UTC)
Thank you for the gifts. I love the lotion (and the Sirius kitty paper!), and Brittany's wearing her perfume today. :) Your card hasn't arrived yet, but thank you in advance for it. <3
Meredith Bronwen Mallory: familygarnettrees on December 25th, 2009 03:30 am (UTC)
*hugs tightly* Glad you liked it! <3 I'm trying to spread Christmas cheer where I can this year, since my own family is so stingy with it. You're like my spiritual cousin or something, so you count-- because I say you do. ^_~