Hey, I am still alive. *blinks owlishly*

Something of a surprise to me, too, let me assure you. ^_~ Stoned out of my gourd at times, but definitely still alive.

I'm sorry I've been MIA for so long-- it's been a combination of family issues and a powerful resurgence of my migraines. Mostly the latter, thankfully, hence my heavily medicated state. I had a really bad episode around the 12th, and then another this past Monday. My doctor started me on different medication at the beginning of June, whose side effects were definitely worse than any purported relief. *sigh* The stuff I'm on now is marginally better. At least I'm not sleeping all the time.

Little Cousin went up to Columbus on Memorial Day and signed his soul away officially joined the Army. His mother promptly flew down here to pitch her hissy fit in person, which only proves to him that this is a great way to get attention from her. There's no going back now, though-- I think, for all his bravado, he's finally starting to get a handle on that concept. The other night, we were both up late in the kitchen, watching the news coverage of Afghanistan. He turned off the TV suddenly and looked at me for a long time. Then he told me that, if he were captured and waiting to die,or laying in a ditch somewhere, he would think of his mom and then of his home here, with me and my brother. You could have knocked me over with a feather. He said he was still excited about being a soldier, but his eyes were very shiny and he kept pressing his knuckles into his cheek. We didn't touch, or hug, or anything, but it was still an odd moment of honesty. The two of us aren't getting along great, but things are... a little better. He went with me when I took the girls to see Robinhood a few weeks ago and, last weekend, I found him in in the girl's room playing MarioKart with them. He has a job at the local grocery, but still refuses to see a counselor or reveal where he's hidden his gun. He's also added 'driving a motorcycle' to his list of dangerous preoccupations-- particularly concerning because he doesn't have health insurance right now.

He ships out on October 25th, something we are not discussing at all around here. I suspect his mother plans to drop a nuclear bomb on us on the 26th. X_X;; The only good news is that he's decided to go EOD (Explosive Ordinance Disposal), which means a year of training in Alabama after Boot, provided that he doesn't wash out. I honestly do not know what to do with this child.


On my end... I'm still pulling my four ten hour shifts, though a few of them have been interrupted by migraines. Thank god for my chronic medical coverage. My boss, the same woman who turned me down for the supervisor pool because I'm "too socially awkward for a management roll" offered to let me in-- provided I agree to take a job as an escalation supervisor (ie, dealing with customers that are so irate they've started cursing and being otherwise abusive). She said she doesn't think I'm ready to "be in charge of anyone" and doubts if I ever will be, and yet she wants me to deal with angry customers. I don't see how that's any different from dealing with associates, and told her as much. She said I have "great customer service, but bad people skills". Completely illogical. Suffice to say, by the end of the conversation, my response to her offer was, "I respectfully but firmly decline". Customer Service is already a high stress job, especially in credit-- it's part of the reason my doctor thinks my migraines have become more frequent. The last thing I need is to move to a position with more stress.


Been talking to advisors and professors at my alma mater about master's possibilities, but not really feeling very encouraged. I should have gone to grad school straight away after I finished my bachelor's in Asian Studies-- it would have made things a hell of a lot easier, especially in terms of getting grants. With Little Cousin gone and my brother having to take a pay cut this fall, I'm thinking this is not the time for such a venture.

I should just be thankful I have a job at all, no matter how frustrated it makes me. *nods firmly*



I am still working on "In Amnion", I promise! I actually managed another page and half of Chapter 13 today, but it's been slow going. This will be the chapter where Ianto wakes up, and you know what a psychotic perfectionist I am. ^^; I hope I haven't effectively killed any interest off... hopefully I'll pick up the pace now that I'm not sleeping quite so much!

Thanks ever so for listening.
*hugs*
-Meredith

Ps. If you emailed me between approximately the first of June and this Tuesday, and I have not responded, I apologize. The spam filter on my email mysteriously reset itself, and I didn't actually figure it out until someone mentioned they'd been repeatedly trying to get a hold of me. I hope I haven't offended anyone-- it's all fixed now! ^__^;;;


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