But Leigh and I have been talking, and I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and then I read loneraven what is living is fugitive. Consequently, I feel a bit raw right now. Mostly that's good, because it's refreshing, and because it's gratifying to look at yourself under the scales and calluses of everyday life and feel-- if not pleased by-- a camaraderie and grudging allowance for what you see looking back.
Some of you may know from whence comes the phrase "a miracle of restraint". I thank the G-d of my understanding for it everyday. In the beginning, I did it on my knees (assuming I wasn't doing it on my belly, or propped up against a toilet). Nowadays, I sometimes forget about the humility aspect. I'm not being religious here-- not really. I'm talking about what it felt like to spend months down there, crawling, trying to get back on my feet. I did not get here by myself. In fact, for the most part, I got here in spite of myself.
I have so many of you to thank for the fact I am here at all. So I'm glad to be reminded of my humility, of the people and places and events I should be grateful for. Thank you.
And now, without further RL emotionalism, we'll dig right into the fictional carnage and manipulation-as-blood-sport! (Hey, I have outlets-- I never said they were _cheerful_ outlets. ^_~)
AKA "Coquilles". I just refer to this as the "Angel-Maker" Episode, because it makes a lot more sense than anything served on a sea-shell. Did the writers think we weren't going to look this shit up?
[+] A shivering Will makes his way slowly down a deserted county road. The nightmare stag clomps helpfully behind him, as nightmare stags are wont to do. (Damn it, Leigh, now you've got me doing it! ^_~)
Said stag is oddly calm and affectionate, which has of course led to TONS of distressing Will/Stag!Hannibal fics. The discomforting psychopomp really just wants to make sure Will gets home okay! I mean, he might eat him, but he's really just there to chaperone. Honest!
[+] Turns out Will is sleepwalking, and (good, adorable, bestest dog ever) Winston has followed him on this little midnight stroll. The police are confused. Will is confused. Winston thinks his human should have come with a manual.
[+] Cut to Hannibal's kitchen. Will, seriously, you are in your psychiatrist's kitchen? At some ungodly hour in the morning? Houston, we have a problem! Will already feels like Hannibal is the safest person to go to. Part of me is laughing-- you know, the part of me that hates life?*
HANNIBAL: My kitchen is always open to friends.
*shudders* Horrible, horrible. And SCARY. Will, do not be seduced by his un-gelled morning hair and his fine dressing gown and his ridiculously complicated coffee machine… your life is in danger!
You know who else's life is in danger? Anyone who tries to give Hannibal instant coffee. All they found from the last guy was a surgical pin.
Hannibal says Will has entered into a "Devil's bargain" with Jack.
WELL YOU WOULD KNOW.
[+] Okay, safely AWAY from Hannibal's kitchen, over to a dingy motor-lodge in unflinchingly drab Trenton, New Jersey. I feel better already! Our serial-killer-of-the-week is taking an inordinate amount of time to get ice. Also, he sees people on fire. Maybe he's getting the ice so he can put out the people on fire? (No, no. No hope in this show. NOT ALLOWED. Please leave all your hope at the front desk.)
[+] JACK: Room is registered to a 'John Smith'.
WILL: An appalling failure of imagination.
Awww.. how adorable is snarky!Will? I'd let it slide, though. There's plenty of imagination in other aspects of this crime.
[+] Do I need to mention, specifically, what is in the hotel room? I didn't think so. Dudes, I've seen a lot of gross and graphic horror movies, okay? I actually sat through The Human Centipede (though I did throw up), Frontiers _and_ the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. I've seen the Reanimator sequel where the rat makes off the the dead guy's penis. I'm not saying these are good movies (far from it)-- just that I've seen a _lot_ of horror-shlock shit.
DAMN, boys and girls, this is fucked up.
[+] Jimmy Price is, as ever, the helpful trivia and morale officer, informing us that Vikings used to break open the chests of Christian victims and drape their lungs over their shoulders like wings. Oh, Jimmy-- your first dates must be so much fun.
On the other hand, he's a hoot at keggers. ^_~
[+] Will's gonna make this EVEN better by laying down where the killer slept. Plastic sheet or no, have you ever heard of COOTIES?
[+] On that note, let's eat! How scary is it when you're _relieved_ to see Hannibal putting the finishing touches on a dish? He is definitely Satan-- look at his ung-dly, plate-balancing powers!
[+] Hey, it's Gina Torres! HI HI HI. Of Firefly fame. I love this actress, even when I dislike her characters. I _do_ like Phyllis Crawford, especially because of the way she holds her own during scenes with very intense male personalities. And the look she gives Hannibal all through dinner is great:
'This bug. I see this bug-- it's a big, unusual, with beautiful colors…. but it's still a creepy bug.'
Then she goes to therapy with him. Whatever.
[+] Jimmy wants to know if this crime is "hardcore Judeo-Christian upsetting". I'm thinking one-celled animals are upset by this, so… yeah.
[+] Beverly quotes Jim Morrison, whee! And Will gets the reference! On the rare occasions that the team is actually in the office and obliged to observe the labor-mandated forty-five minute lunch, I bet she and Will go out to her car, eat unhealthy vending machine food and listen to The Doors.
[+] At first the writers want us to believe Phyllis/Bella is having an affair. Her comment about dignity, however, is very telling. She's easy to empathize with, because you can see in her face-- in her hair, the way she holds herself and lines of the clothing she chooses-- that she is not the type to thrive on sympathy/pity/attention. She wants to crawl into the woods and find a place to die on her own; maintain her dignity through solitude in suffering. The suffering is inescapable, but she can hold on to her pride. It may not keep her warm at night, but sometimes it's the only thing a woman has.
[+] Awwww… look at Hannibal and Will being research buddies! Even as I'm biting my nails and sobbing into my pillow, there's something really amazing/attractive in the rapport these two have. I don't think it's solely that Hannibal is a chameleon who matches his tempo to the beat of others' thoughts. In this case, I don't think he has to try-- Will can keep up with him, and Hannibal finds that spell-binding.
[+] HANNIBAL: Ever feel abandoned, Will?
WILL: Abandonment requires expectation.
asdlf'l';k! *incoherent sniffles*
… just excuse me while I sew up this little wound, here. This show.
[+] I love how, when Hannibal starts to metaphorically roll up his sleeves and 'dig' into Will's psyche, Will brings out the sass:
"This should be interesting. Please, Doctor, proceed."
One should never forget that, while Will may not have the impressive collections of degrees, diplomas and little letters after his name, he is _definitely_ in the same intellectual strata as Lecter. No question about it. His specialty may lie in behavioral analysis and police methodology, but he has an amazingly diverse knowledge base, and excellent analytical skills. He's much, much more than just an 'empathy party trick'.
[+] Hannibal observes that the Angel-Maker may be "careful about being self-destructive".
*raises hand*… Whoops, sorry. Still not an informal poll. X_x;;;
[+] Jack, why do you have plaid sheets? Bella's nightgown, however, is a very pretty sea-foam green. I am going to focus on the aesthetics of this scene, so I don't garrote Jack with his misogyny-disguised-as-chivalry. You won't insult her by asking about an affair? Couching it as a statement is STILL AN INSULT.
JACK: Is there anything I can offer you physically, romantically…
[+] Cut to Will in a dark, rain-soaked alley, staring at the flayed-and-mangled body of yet another "angel".
WILL: Fuck, why is this my life?
[+] I'm gonna have a geek moment here, because Will knows that (a) angels don't have wings, and (b) they don't have gender. This alludes to the traditional notion of angels in the Hebrew text-- malak/malakhim, meaning "messenger". While an obvious folklore culture grew up around the idea of angelic entities with names and personalities, the first angels were nothing like that. I remember, growing up, having a Rabbi who was at great pains to drive this notion home to us-- that angels are the breath of G-d, made for one purpose. They are the messenger, but they are also animated by the message itself. Once they've delivered it, they cease to exist.
…. it always struck me as cruel that G-d would create an entity solely motivated by necessity, only to let it fall apart when it was no longer needed.
[/end random religious natter and philosophizing]
[+] Will stands up to Jack, which Jack immediately negates using the same tactic he used with his wife.
I AM ABOVE THIS CONFLICT DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME ON MY CONTRIBUTIONS TO IT
[+] I'm not sure which I want more-- Bella's blouse, or her poise.
[+] And… Will's sleep walking again.
WILL'S PUPPIES: Daddy! We luv you! Why for you on the roof, huh?
[+] "Did you just SMELL me?"
Hahaha. Will is probably the only person who has _ever_ called him on this. We'll add an olfactory obsession to Hannibal's list of kinks.
[+] I would really liked to have seen the stag statue feature during Will's first visit to the office, and THEN have the nightmare stag appear. It would have felt more like Will was subconsciously trying to work through things, IMHO.
[+] Oh, look, the clue bus finally ran Jack down in the middle of the expressway. Meanwhile, Will is ADORABLE in that sweater. You can see where my priorities are.
[+] Buddish offs himself, and Will knows he needs to quit. Jack? Jack is like the asshole husband who-- knowing his wife doesn't have a job, a source of income, anywhere to take her children, ect-- has the temerity to say, "You wanna leave? Here's the door."
It is not now, has never been, and WILL NEVER BE that simple.
Oh, and Jack? If you're gonna blame Will for every corpse that drops just because he was in his classroom (instead of, you know, the actual murderer), then I'm gonna blame you for everything that happens to Will from now on.
K thanx bye.
[+] Well, MOST of everything that happens to Will. Damn you, Lecter. You and your fucking gray paisley tie.
*Mystery Science Theater. Season 9. "Hobgoblins". There are few things more evil than Hannibal Lecter. This may, in fact, be one of them. ^__^