This concludes our brief linguistic digression, brought to you by Jack's Joke Shop. 'Cause if it ain't funny, it ain't worth jack. ^_~
Last time, on Hannibal: It was apparently necessary to strap Will into all sorts of bondage gear, so as to take him on a little field-trip outside the hospital. Already dubious practices here, peeps. Hannibal is pissy he didn't get to come and enjoy it. Will's asked Chilton not to discuss his therapy with Lecter, but weasel-esque Dr No-Dick immediately narcs on him. I guess he thinks he and Hannibal are bonding over their unethical psychiatric methods? Will tries to contract out a hit on Lecter; Gideon denies all knowledge of having met Hannibal, and plays Alana like a fiddle. Matthew Brown attempts to torture Hannibal, who actually looks a bit bored by the whole thing. Fucking amateurs. On the other hand, kudos for getting the drop on Lecter to begin with. Hannibal lives, because he's annoying like that.
[+] Cut to 'artsy' close-up, with the requisite classic music. I now have this horrible Pavlovian reaction to classical music, btw. I went to the dentist the other day (something full of anxiety for me anyway), and they were playing Beethoven via the Muzak system. Between the needles, drills, body-horror and creepy music, I was ready to bolt. Thanks, show. ^_^
[+] On the other hand, I'm jealous of Hannibal's harpsichord. Of course this fucker plays beautifully, while I spent five years painfully picking my way through 'Camptown Races'. @_@
Awwww… he's composing a ballad for Will. I think we're beyond that, kiddo.
[+] Will is feeling extra poetic today, comparing Jack to a brimming cup. Actually, Jack's more like an exceedingly thick pupil who needs to be walked through basic fractions fifty billion times. Seriously, Jack? 'He harvests organs'? I'm just gonna sit here while Will takes you to school.
WILL: "Who does he have to kill before you open your eyes?"
Anndddd… cut to a close-up of Alana. Hahaha, it's got my vote!
[+] Meanwhile, Hannibal waxes poetic about the offal he's cooking and has a little pity-party because he 'has nightmares' and is all hurt because Will decided to fight fire with fire. Go ahead and have a little murder-spree to make yourself feel better, Hannibal, but for G-d's sake-- STOP FLIRTING WITH ALANA. *shudders*
And out pops the handy-dandy Roledex of MURDER.
[+] Are those blue flowers in the corpse hyacinths? Damnit, Hannibal, those (along with wisteria) are my favorite flowers!
Upon rewind, they look too flat and too blue. Forget-me-nots? Oh, Hannibal, you're so besotted. (Although hyacinths would have been appropriate too, what with the legend of a tragic and beautifully gifted young man.) Nice use of primary colors. I give it an 'eight'. ^_~
I'm deducting points because Lady Murasaki (and Seishiro* X_X;;) would be appalled by your desecration of the sakura. (Cherry blossoms)
[+] Jack channels Will for a few moments, revealing that the blue flowers are 'belladonna'. WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO HANNIBAL!?
So cute, Hannibal pretending he can't stand to hear about his own victims. And acting as though he can just quit Will cold-turkey.
[+] Will and Abel whisper to each other from cell to cell, like boys in a prep-school dormitory. Abel describes Hannibal's dining room down to the slightest detail, and still Jack has his head in the sand. Is this fucker part ostrich?
Finally, finally, these two seem to be getting on the bus-- about a season and a half too late!
[+] Awww, Jimmy loves endangered song birds. And Jack apparently quotes Counting Crows. X_x;; I love Price and Zeller yelling at each other over the sound of a chainsaw.
JACK: "A lot of people are lying about a lot of things."
Thanks for summing up this show in less than a dozen words, Crawford. Blah, blah, Alana's so self-righteous, she knows Hannibal, he was a teacher. She bashes Will while she helps herself to the unconditional love of his dogs.
[+] Will, stop growing antlers, you'll get a headache. Once more, Hannibal's back to waxing nostalgic about his 'friendship' with Will. Hannibal acts as if Will's attempt to kill him isn't foreplay. And tactfully informs Graham that he intends to desecrate the woman he idolizes. Cute.
[+] Heh, Hannibal's having himself a grand old time killing and cooking, isn't he? He really likes his edible rose-buds.
GIDEON: "I would like to point out that the term 'sociopath' has not been used by any respectable psychiatrist since 1968."
Yes, dear, but that's at least a decade after the last time this place was remodeled, so what do you expect?
Abel bad-mouths the nurse (whom I already felt bad for, since all the was trying to do was work her nine-to-five), and the guards beat the crap out of him. Wow, I feel terrible about that. NOT.
[+] Hannibal, you're such a fucking snob, with your uniformed white-gloved wait-persons and your string quartet. Look at all the pretentious old biddies and trophy wives digging in! For once, Jack seems to actually find this creepy. Fredrick says he's not eating the food, because he may be an autocratic dick, but he has standards.
Alana, your dress is ugly and your hair is asymmetrical. Also, if you think playing 'Chopsticks' on a priceless harpsichord is cute, think again.
I hope you remember all this crap when the truth comes to light, you shameless, self-righteous little puritan. You think you can judge everyone else's "victimhood"-- let's see how you handle being judged yourself. I hope you slept well, 'cause that's the last time you'll sleep soundly for the rest of… ever.
(No, I'm not bitter _at_ _all_. ^_~)
I have nothing to say about 'funeral sex'.
And she's wearing his shirt. *shudders*
[+] Damn, Hannibal-- how do you find lettuce that big?
Jimmy and Z are so cute arguing about beef. ^_^
Tell me you did not fucking go to that abandoned building in the middle of nowhere by yourself, Jack.
Wow, Miriam Lass is still alive? Also, I'm having Silence of the Lambs flashbacks, again.
Next Week, on Hannibal: Seems the Chesapeake Ripper set Will free, which was of course Hannibal's intention all along. Will gets reunited with his puppies! That is all I care about, the end. ^_~
*Tokyo Babylon reference FOR THE WIN.
** Hmmm, upon review, it seems I swear a bit excessively during these recaps. Forgive me, I'm still mad about Beverly. And Abigail.