Last time, on Hannibal: When last we left our intrepid
[+] Open on a lovely scene where Hannibal sips cognac and drowns some birds in the name of haute couture cuisine. I'm not a fan of larger birds, but I think finches, sparrows and the like are darling. Plus, talk about not having a lot of meat on one's bones. So, no points for Hannibal on this one.
[+] I wonder if, after this is all over, Will's primary source of relief won't be the fact he no longer has to make pretentious and vaguely menacing dinner conversation with Lecter. He's gonna heat up a Libbyland dinner and eat in front of the TV every night. Watching The Muppets. So there.
[+] Hannibal says this meal is considered 'debauched' by gourmands. Hehehe… say 'debauched' again, Mads. (I'm sorry, I'm apparently twelve today. ^^)
[+] There's nothing like a good endangered species joke to start off the evening. Follow that up with some dirty talk about Will's latest murder, and you have Hannibal's ideal date.
[+] Oh, hey, flaming wheel-chair dude! That's a great way to liven up one's shift! See, nothing like that ever happens to me. All I get is chronic embezzlers and money-launderers calling to complain that I won't let them commit felonies. And then I get yelled at 'cause I'm not nice to them. (I promise I'll stop being bitter about this someday… probably.. maybe… kinda. Yeah.) So, if there were a flaming wheel-chair dude (or dudette, 'cause this is supposedly Freddie), I would probably get blamed for it. *sigh*
[+] Margot is pregnant, having used Will as an unknowing cohort in the process. Will wants to know what she wants from him, but it's apparently not much.
MARGOT: "I always thought men were an optional accessory in child-rearing."
*raises hand* Oh… damn it, we're still not taking an informal pole, are we? Sorry about that.
[+] Margot says her brother isn't good with children, and so we immediately cut to Mason fucking with a poor, innocent young boy named Franklin. And then he gives the kid a piece of chocolate, because he apparently thinks he's Sebastian Shaw.*
Mason, are you attempting to drink the fucking tears of small fucking children? No… just, no. Go away, don't even talk to me. Sit over there, and Hannibal will be along to kill you directly.
[+] Alana shows up on Will's doorstep at some unreasonable hour in the AM:
WILL: [still blinking, sleepy] "Do we do friendly visits anymore?"
ALANA: "This isn't a friendly visit."
Wow… how to win friends and influence people, by Dr. Alana Bloom. I thought you were a fucking psychiatrist, lady. Shouldn't you be better at dealing with people?
Turns out, Alana came to visit Will for an entirely selfish reason-- i.e., she's looking to stabilize the architecture of her internal world. Will neatly points out that the shoe is totally on the other foot now, and no one would believe her if she said he did kill Lounds.
ALANA: [trying for the doe-eyed tears and failing] "I don't think Hannibal is good for you. I think your relationship is destructive."
WILL: "Hannibal is good enough for you."
And she gets checked into the boards, ladies and gentlemen. How sad is it that Alana couldn't wake up to all the insanity going on around her until her own sense of self was threatened?
At which point Will gives her a gun, so she can buy rounds and practice and possibly shoot him. Because, at this point, anything is game.
[+] Meanwhile, Mason has an appointment with Dr. Lecter. Mr. Verger seems to think they're getting together to practice being creepy. Hannibal seems bored. He also wants Mason to stop laying down on the couch he and Will fucked on last night. X_x;;;
I would like Mason to maintain the same personality for ten consecutive seconds, but I've got a feeling I'm asking too much.
[+] The priest at Freddie's funeral reads from Tehillim (Psalms) 23:5, about preparing a table in the presence of one's enemies, and Meredith snorts into her frappuccino. Slam dunk, Fuller.
Alana claims she's attending the funeral to mourn Freddie, which I very much doubt. Her motives are far more in line with what she's accusing Will of. Not very flattering for your character, darling.
[+] Hannibal and Will have a discussion about fatherhood, since their previous attempt to co-parent went so well.
And, holy shit, twenty-four episodes in, did we just actually hear Hannibal willingly discuss Mischa in a conversation? Will has made it to the inner circle.
And Hannibal just said he was sorry. (Not that I believe him, but still.) *feels faint* I need to go outside and make sure it's not raining frogs or blood or something.
[+] Back in the night-shadowed graveyard, Jimmy and Zeller have been hauled out of their bed (notice the singular) to take a look at the desecrated body of Freddie Lounds, who's been made into some sort of Hindu goddess.
JIMMY: "… that beats Jesus by 48 hours." Damnit, Brian, I'm tired. We didn't have to go for round two.
ZELLER: "Who ever thought Freddie Lounds would get deified?" That's not what you said at the time. Plus, I got less sleep than you did, 'cause you snore.
[+] You know what, Alana? Just go away. Go sit in the corner with Mason. Your narcissism will compliment each other.
ALANA: "It's a courtship."
And it kills you to say that, doesn't it?
[+] Blah, blah, Hannibal waxes philosophical about Shiva… boy howdy, he likes to hear himself talk. ^_~ He and Will have a fun little conversation in which they get confused about whose line is whose.
Later, Hannibal and Alana have a nice, uncomfortable talk in which Hannibal says Will will always be in the room with them (especially when they have sex), and Lecter uses his mutant super-smell to discover Alana's new shooting hobby.
[+] Margot, darling. When fleeing for your life, please don't pack the fire-engine red Coach tote, 'kay? It's really obvious. Though it does coordinate nicely with Macon's creepy red scrubs.
Mason, don't ever say 'lady parts' again, okay?
[+] ALANA: "The most terrifying thing in the world can be a lucid moment."
Then, honey, I wouldn't come to Jack to discuss it. He's not exactly an expert on lucid moments.
[+] Wheeee, Freddie's still alive! Who in the world ever thought I'd be happy about that. But I am, 'cause we need all the plucky women we can get on this show.
[+] I could watch Will beat Mason up all day long.
MASON: "I'm gonna feed you to my pigs."
WILL: "Dr. Lecter is the one you should be feeding to your pigs."
PIGS: We don't care who we eat-- just feed us!
*X-Men: First Class reference FTW. Franklin should grow up and kill Mason with tissues, or something. That would be fun.