Meredith Bronwen Mallory (garnettrees) wrote,
Meredith Bronwen Mallory

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Meredith's Mom Vs. The Gay Vampires

I'm on the phone with my mom last night, pretty much just chatting while she's flipping through the program guide, looking for something to watch in the evening.
"Interview With A Vampire is on," she says, "have you seen that?"
"Oh yeah," I say, "fun with the gay vampires!" My mother makes a dubious noise in the back of her throat, which is what she generally does when I have slashy fangirl moments.*
"Your grandmother loves that movie**," she says, as if this is proof that I'm Seeing Things That Aren't There.
"Go ahead and watch it," I tell her, "I swear to god that Lestat and Louis are doing it. Also, Armand wants Louis' ass."
"Meredith Bronwen!" my mom cries, scandalized. I drop the subject as, even at my age, I know the value of strategic withdraw at the use of The Full Name. We moved on to talk of other things, and eventually hung up for the night.

She called me at nine a.m. this morning.
"Why didn't you tell me that movie was about gay vampires?" she asks.
"Um... Mom? I did. I warned you repeatedly. You didn't listen," I remind her, not without a little smugness.
"I thought you were just doing that Thing."
"What 'Thing'?"
"That Thing," she insisted, "that Thing that you do when you say Kirk and Spock are sleeping together."
"They are," I point out. For once, she actually doesn't argue with me.
"Lestat was molesting Louis in a cemetery! He went and made Claudia a vampire so that Louis wouldn't leave him!" Mom says. "They were living together. Armand killed Claudia because he wanted Louis for himself."
"Wasn't that awful? I liked Claudia!"
"I did too," she tells me. "Louis was a real whiner..."
"Lestat was a dick, but Claudia was cool," I finish for her. "You saw The Slash. How does it feel?"
"I think... that was a bizarre movie."
"It's a little over-the-top."
"Yeah, but I... guess I liked it," she admits. I wait for the world to halt on its axis. "I'm scarred for life." After a moment she adds, "My mother loves that movie! How can she watch it and not see the..."
"Maybe Grammy likes the gay vampires," I snicker. I can hear my mom *head-desking* over the phone.

So there you have it. I'm still so thoroughly amused by this that I keep giggling to myself at inappropriate moments. I'm surprised my mom even admitted to seeing the slash, let alone enjoying the movie. Interview With a Vampire isn't one of my favorite movies, but it is kinda fun, and very heavy on the obvious slash. Teehee.

But, you know, if I find out she's started reading Anne Rice books, I will drop dead of heart failure, because some things are just Going Too Far. ^_~

*Unless they're in regards to MASH, in which case she kindly asks me to refrain from defiling Hawkeye. Sure Mom, live in Denial if you want. ^_~
**My grandmother does. It's scary. I always wonder what she's thinking when she watches it, and I'm dying to just ask her if she 'ships Lestat/Louis.
Tags: film, kirk-spock, mash, slash, star-trek, vampires

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